capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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