i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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