Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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