i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
