i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
