YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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