Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
