Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
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