pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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