it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize