mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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