Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
