I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
