do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
