yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
