I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
