i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
