I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
