me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
