What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have aggressive nipples.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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