Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
