Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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