Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
