I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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