Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
