tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did you pee in the oven last night??
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
