I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
