All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
