you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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