a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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