everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
