VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
