drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
