I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
