News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
