she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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