Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Success! We fucked roommates!
I need to align my fucking chakras
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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