I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
