We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
