we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize