O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
