For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
