I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
