I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
