Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
