He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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