the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think i got beer on your cat.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
