Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so let's talk penis.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Randomize