i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
