the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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