What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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