WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
