I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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