I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
