I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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