Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
