Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
