I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
