The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
