I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
