How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
