when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
4 words: hood of his car
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize