Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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