he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Pooping to opera.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
